Tips for Avoiding Conflicts When Using A Surrogate
Having children is a major life decision, one most couples eventually discuss either before or after getting married. These talks often center on the number of children they would ideally like to have, the parenting philosophy they prefer in raising them, and how they intend to strike the right balance between work and family life. While these topics are all relevant to same sex couples as well, there is the additional consideration of how the child will be conceived.
Using a surrogate is one of several viable options available to LGBT couples, and it has the added benefit of allowing one of the partners to be the child’s biological parent. At the same time, it is a lengthy and emotional process in which conflicts can easily arise. If you and your partner are considering becoming parents through surrogacy, the following offers tips that can help the experience go more smoothly.
Avoiding Conflicts When Using Third Party Reproduction
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) uses the term ‘third party reproduction’ for situations in which a couple receives help from someone else to conceive and/or carry a child. This typically involves the use of artificial insemination in fertilizing the egg, and for male couples, a surrogate mother to carry the baby to term. Donors may be known to the couple or anonymous, and surrogates may be obtained privately or through an agency. To avoid conflicts with any of the parties involved, the ASRM recommends the following:
- Thoroughly review all contracts and consent forms before signing;
- Be open and honest about your desires and expectations during and after the birth;
- Request health information for the sperm donor or birth mother you use;
- Raise questions or concerns as soon as they arise;
- Use experienced professionals who have successfully handled similar matters in your area.
Paying For A Surrogate
Money is one of the leading causes of friction between couples. If you and your partner are considering using a surrogate to have a child, it is important to include discussions on how you intend to pay for these costs as part of the decision-making process. US News and World Reports states that the total expenses can easily run up over $60,000, and it is important to have an emergency fund in place, just in case of any medical complications that arise. Ways to pay for these costs include:
- Financing through surrogate agencies;
- Taking out a home equity loan;
- Borrowing against your 401(k).
Make sure all contracts in place are drafted by an experienced attorney. This is vitally important to establishing what each party’s responsibilities are, as well to define what costs will be covered.
We Are Prepared to Help You
If you are considering third party reproduction, contact Hancock & Associates, P.A. today. Our Florida attorneys provide the professional legal representation you need to ensure your rights and interests are protected. With offices in Orlando and Tampa, we can help; call or contact our office online to set up a meeting with one of our attorneys. Same day consultations are available.